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04/11/2013 12:00 AMEvery child deserves to be happy and safe.
It is Ray Fowler's goal to make sure all children get something so special, yet so simple: peace.
But because the reality is that not all children have that peaceful existence because of child abuse, Ray decided to help be the voice of those children. He wants to bring the problem of child abuse to the forefront so it can be confronted and, hopefully, eliminated.
Ray, a resident of North Haven since 1970, says his first experience with child abuse came in 1960, when he served as an officer in the Marine Corps in Camp Lejeune, North Carolina.
"There was a problem in base housing involving a child," Ray recalls. "It got to me, my gut?The conditions the child was living under and what that child went through. It gave me a lifelong interest in child abuse."
After a 43-year career in the military and in civilian life as director of human resources at a printing company, he had to retire in 2007 to battle cancer. After beating cancer, Ray was prepared for his next fight.
Ray took his child abuse concerns to North Haven's Board of Selectmen in 2011 and got the conversation started. He was a bit late for that April's Child Abuse Prevention Month, but the planning began to help find ways to honor the month in town during the following year.
In 2012, he had several meetings with First Selectman Michael Freda and official town-wide child abuse prevention programs kicked off then. The North Haven community has embraced Ray's ideas.
"The support has been overwhelming," he says.
Ray says he has received support from Superintendent of Schools Robert Cronin, as well-Cronin "is going to form a committee to develop child abuse awareness curriculum to use in the schools all year long," says Ray.
Ray says the North Haven Police Department has made several arrests on child abuse charges over the last few years, but he would like to see more enforcement.
"We need more reported. We need people to be involved," he says.
Ray pointed to the case of Savannah Hardin, an Alabama girl who died last year after being forced to run for hours in the hot sun after eating candy.
"Nine people viewed it, and nobody reported it," says Ray. "I'm not a social worker and I don't pretend to be. In all of the studying I've been able to do, I've found at the heart of the child abuse syndrome is control and power. In every instance, the perpetrator has felt a loss of control in their lives. They have to make up for it with someone," so they choose children.
Ray just wants more people to protect children and prevent this abuse from continuing.
"As individuals, there's very little we can do about cancer, leukemia, and other illnesses," says Ray. "We have to depend on scientists and doctors. But every single one of us can do something about child abuse. We can save a child's future, if not their entire life.
"I feel that this is something we can do something about," Ray adds. "If we can get people on board, we can make a difference."
Ray is certainly pleased by the difference that has already been made in North Haven. He says two years ago, he might not have believed this town-wide support was possible.
"But it's happened," Ray says.
Ray says the awareness campaign is truly working and he will continue to keep the issue of child abuse front and center. He and his wife, Sallie, are continuing their candy bar campaign to help with awareness.
They buy boxes of candy bars and put stickers with the words "In Memory of Savannah Hardin" on them. They then distribute the candy around town. When asked what they can do in return, Ray suggests people buy and distribute candy, as well.
Ray doesn't seem to mind being the voice of the child abuse awareness and prevention campaign. He has been speaking about the cause to local civic groups. All of the awareness he has helped bring to town has made an impact, for sure.
"I can be in a restaurant or a supermarket and people will come up to me and tell me earth-shattering stories about how they were abused as children or how they stopped abusing their children. [The awareness] really does work," says Ray. "Child abuse is a dirty little problem no one wants to talk about. It's time we end that."