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07/18/2024 04:38 PM

Stephanie Bulyk


Stephanie M. Bulyk of Madison, beloved wife and intimate life-partner of Spider J.C. Bulyk, passed away on July 2, 2024, at Yale New Haven Hospital. She died just nine days after her 74th birthday and 13 days short of the couple’s 52nd wedding anniversary. Stephanie was born on June 23, 1950, in Brooklyn, New York, the third child of Ignatius and Grace (Nutt) Musso.

In addition to her husband Spider, she is survived by her two children, son Jamin Delaney Bulyk and daughter Taralyn Zanot Bulyk, as well as Taralyn’s children, Cecilia “Cece” Grace Watrous and Ezra Lennon Watrous, all of Madison. Stephanie is also survived by her sister Lynne Leeder and husband Ken, as well as their children: daughter Jennifer Furst, married to Jeremy, and their daughter Maya; son Kenny Jr. and daughter Erin Ruth, married to Scott and their children, Austin and Hope. Stephanie is also survived by her brother Larry, married to Betsy, and their son Larry Jr.

Stephanie earned a bachelor of science degree from Hunter College’s Bellevue School of Nursing in Manhattan. She specialized in maternal child health, serving many years in labor and delivery wards, nurseries, and specialized newborn support units. Stephanie’s career path then led her to more demanding and technical service in second stage neonatal intensive care units.

A lifetime children’s advocate, Stephanie created her long-lived “second act” with a school nursing career in the Madison school system. Some of her early “frequent fliers,” now in adulthood, remember the welcoming atmosphere in her office, where she created a comforting refuge for hurt or frightened little ones. Many remember the registration plate on Stephanie’s Miata: “KIDS-RN.” In this “second act,” Stephanie herself became unforgettable to the Madison community at large. Through this focus on maternity and children, and later in her own struggle with cancer, Stephanie became a fierce supporter of and significant fundraiser for Women’s Reproductive Rights and Freedoms. Her core belief was the need to create an accepting society in which each member felt free to live peacefully in the manner that served them best.

Stephanie spent the last four years of her life in a courageous fight against ovarian cancer, never giving up. In addition to her own struggle, she took every opportunity to support her fellow patients at Yale-Smilow, was always known to lend a willing ear, respond with a warm heart, and provide positive and practical counsel. She and her husband were cited as a significant money-raising team for primary research to shorten the interval between discovery and cure in women’s reproductive cancers.

Stephanie’s love of children began with her and Spider’s own two children, Jamin and Taralyn. Throughout her lifetime, they came to view her as their best and most trustworthy friend, insightful confidant, and energetic cheerleader. Physically, emotionally, financially and in every other way, Stephanie tirelessly ran interference in their lives, helping them overcome obstacles and encouraging them to develop a meaningful and noble life of their own. Stephanie, as “Nonna,” smothered herself with her two grandchildren. They won her heart. Stephanie’s time with them, of which there seemed never enough, was like drinking the water of life, and the two little ones knew it. Oft said was that their favorite playmate was “Nonna.”

Stephanie loved animals of all kinds, domestic and feral alike, most especially dogs, cats, and birds. Walk down the street, and no dog was a stranger, each benefitting from her bottomless pocket of doggy treats. At home, her extraordinarily large collection of stuffed animals was heavily focused on the “teddy bear” family, from miniatures to giants.

Stephanie was a classic craftswoman, addressing everything she did with rigorous research, an aesthetic yet practical eye, and a sense of what perfection might be achieved. This sense of “how much good can I do” affected her every initiative, of which she had many. An ardent quilter, she was always providing a new and often stunning design for someone’s special occasion. Stephanie and Spider together designed much of their home’s interior architecture as well as its exterior gardens.

Stephanie had many other interests, especially in the arts. She served on the Board of the Shoreline Youth Symphony Orchestra and was a Supporting Member of the Goodspeed Opera. Stephanie enjoyed musicals and Broadway shows, whether professionally done or amateur, and children’s theater. She was a gifted singer with a sweet bell-like voice, remembering the tune and words to every pop song, show tune, or commercial jingle. An amateur musician, she played piano and guitar, and had begun to study cello.

She and her husband Spider enjoyed restoration work, having restored a 1913 stone carriage house, a vintage Cape Cod Catboat, and many vintage British cars. Morgans, coach-built, by-hand in Malvern, England, were their favorites, having owned three. The recent final restoration of their “once and future Morgan” became a three-time best-in-show winner. Together they successfully competed in rallies and competitive events, and were active members and officers of numerous car clubs, continuing since the early 1970s. With their Morgan, they covered some 200 thousand miles, touring and driving club events all over the eastern US and Canada. As a true “Morganeer,” Stephanie is well remembered and loved by Morgan car club members worldwide. In addition to touring in their Morgan sports car on long trips, Stephanie and Spider also loved to travel internationally with (sister) Lynne and Ken. Together, the four of them had multiple far-off fantasy adventures. It was never clear which couple was acting out “Lucy and Desi” and which was “Ethel and Fred,” but they all laughed a lot while visiting many exotic places.

Like a jewel, Stephanie’s many different facets make capturing her total persona a challenge. Cook, hostess, parent, mechanic, gardener, parent, lover... the list goes on. She was also quite the fashionista, insisting on perfection in the mirror before going public. Some of her clothes shopping — always accompanied by a formidable handful of “coupons” — were the stuff of legend. In her office at home hangs a present from her sister Lynne: a wall sign declaring, “If the shoe fits, buy it in every color.” Stephanie was an elegant and “classy” gal in every nuance of the word. Soft-spoken, gentle, and self-effacing, she drew people to her like a magnet: strong, intelligent, intuitive, warm, considerate, trustworthy, elegant, and full of youthful energy. Spider described Stephanie as his favorite dance partner, his best riding mechanic, and his most intimate and trusted confidant. Indeed, friends often described Stephanie and Spider as “the couple that had almost become one person.”

Like the life-artist she was, Stephanie created an extraordinarily wonderful life for herself and all those around her. A celebration of life service for Stephanie will be announced at a later date. In lieu of flowers, here are, without question, Stephanie’s three favorite charities of all time:

Discovery to Cure: https://bit.ly/3mQ82Qc This link takes you to a donation site for the primary research center for women’s reproductive cancers at YaleNHH. All of the donations at this link are used for research in Gynecological Oncology. If you encounter any issues, ruthann.ornstein@yale.edu is the coordinator for this group (and has been a great supporter of Stephanie). In the worst case, call Ruth Ann at 203-901-0964, and you can mail in a check if you prefer. You can reference Stephanie Bulyk, and Ruth Ann will track all the contributions in her name, regardless of how they are made. Thank you in advance.

Planned Parenthood: You can click here: www.plannedparenthood.org. Then click donate. You would not be able to connect your donation to Stephanie, but you’d still be hitting close to Stephanie’s heart.

Guiding Eyes for the Blind: You can click here: www.guidingeyes.org/give-today. For individuals who are vision impaired, a Guiding Eyes dog means freedom, confidence, and opportunity. It can cost up to $50,000 annually to train and care for a guide dog throughout its working lifetime. A 501(c)(3) nonprofit, GEFB provides all services free of charge to people who are vision impaired