For Nancy Miller (1929 to 2020), the Golden Rule was her guiding light, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” She lived by this moral principle. Everyone who knew Nancy felt her kindness and compassion. It filled her family with love, joy, and leaves them aspiring to be “more like Mom.”
Nancy routinely opened her home and refrigerator to the many pals of her many children, regularly wrote letters to old friends about family hijinks to tickle their funny bones, donated to countless charities, and after hearing the clanging bells of Papa Joe’s Good Humor truck, she would find her coin purse to buy tasty ice cream bars for her five grandchildren and anyone else who required a summer treat. More than anything, though, when her family was in need, she was always there for them.
Nancy’s large network of friends learned many valuable lessons from her during her 91 years, among them: Never say mean things about anyone. Complete the New York Times crossword puzzle every Sunday to keep your mind sharp. Always make pancakes with blueberries to tempt the taste buds of the grandchildren.
Nancy was born on April 10, 1929, in West Hartford. Her mother, Marion Colby Clapp, graduated from Emerson College and devoted her life to her family. Her father, Clarence Bushnell Clapp, was a stockbroker. Nancy attended the Kingswood Oxford School in West Hartford, and later earned a bachelor’s degree in mathematics—a rarity for a woman during the 1950s—from the Connecticut College for Women.
Growing up, Nancy spent her summers in Madison in the house her father built. She developed lifelong friendships there, relaxed at the nearby beach, went on long sails, prepared meals centered around the harvest of local sweet corn, and most of all spent time with family. The house remains the focal point for family gatherings, a place that remains a beautiful refuge for her children and grandchildren.
Nancy started her career as a research analyst at New York Life Insurance Company in New York, New York. She had many fond memories of her early years living with friends from college in Manhattan’s Upper West Side, attending the theater and hosting parties in their tiny apartment. She met her husband, Walter Miller, at New York Life. They were married in Madison on September 11, 1954, amidst Hurricane Edna and shared 57 years together. Walter passed away in October 2011.
Nancy and Walter raised five children in Eastchester, New York, and the family later moved to Rye, New York. When her children were older, she returned to work as an office manager for a mail order company.
While living in Rye, Nancy was a diligent volunteer for Together With Important Goals (TWIG), which supports healthcare organizations, including United Hospital, through a wide variety of fundraising projects.
Nancy had fun. She and Walter traveled the world. Europe and the Caribbean were favorite destinations. They treasured their annual boating trips with good friends, up the Hudson River to Quebec City and sailing in the British Virgin Islands. Later in life, they cruised through the Panama Canal, the Thames River, and the Greek Islands.
Upon retirement, Nancy and Walter built a house in Essex. Nancy was a dutiful volunteer at the Connecticut River Museum and was very involved in the local chapter of the Philanthropic Educational Organization (PEO). She later resided at Essex Meadows, a senior living community, where she had many wonderful and special friends.
Nancy was predeceased by her parents, her husband Walter, and her older brother Talcott (Teeb) Clapp.
She is survived by her beloved children Scott Miller (Cathy) of Seattle, Washington, Timothy Miller (Paula) of Mount Pleasant, South Carolina, David Miller of Essex, Kathryn Wallace (Peter) of Madison, and Amy Tully (Guy) of Marblehead, Massachusetts. She leaves five much adored and loved grandchildren, Colin and Liam Wallace, Paris and Reid Tully, and Colby Miller; her dearly loved niece and nephews Heston Clapp, Christopher Clapp, and Jonathan Clapp (Cathy); grandnephews Elijah Clapp (Annabel), and Jacob Clapp (Michael); and great-grandnephew Benjamin Clapp.
Members of Nancy’s family express their gratitude to the amazing staff at Connecticut Hospice in Branford for their kindness and compassion. Nancy spent her final days at peace surrounded by family members, and viewing her cherished Long Island Sound.
A celebration of Nancy’s life will be organized at a future date when friends and family can be together safely. Because Nancy contributed to so many charitable organizations and causes, those wishing to honor her memory are invited to make a gift to the charity of their choice.
