This is a printer-friendly version of an article from Zip06.com.

Death Café Coming to Scranton

It may sound a bit macabre, “Death Café,” but this new concept is coming to the Scranton Library on May 13 to create a dialog about mortality and its meaning. According to the organizers, the presentation has no agenda, only unstructured conversation, intending to increase awareness of death in a supportive way while helping people make the most of their lives.

Though grief and loss are potential discussion areas, the Death Café is not necessarily a support group for any aspect of mortality, according to Lisa Sarfaty, who is organizing this presentation.

“It’s an important conversation to have, but certainly one that can be very difficult to address,” said Sarfaty. “It is helpful to have an actual event where people can feel safe and give them permission to discuss the topic of death. A Death Café is deliberately vague; they are non-profit but accessible, confidential, and respectful, and according to the Death Café website, have no intention of leading people to any conclusion, product, or course of action. And we serve tea and cake to normalize these discussions.”

Sarfaty said the events are similar to the European tradition of salons, where curious folks gather to simply discuss topics.

“It really is like a salon. People informally meet to discuss ideas, and in this case, the idea is death,” said Sarfaty. “As an informal gathering, we’re discussing whatever shows up, whatever that particular group wants to discuss. There are no experts because the people who show up are the experts. The range of topics on death are as varied as the participants. So, grief and loss certainly can be part of that discussion, but a fear about a diagnosis in themselves or others. In some instances, people attend because they have a friend or loved one with a serious diagnosis and don’t know what to say or how to act. They’re afraid to say the wrong thing; we get fearful of that talk around someone who is facing, quite frankly, something that none of us want to face.

Sarfaty is also a Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant and said she became intrigued by the idea while in the midst of her studies.

“I’ve always been interested in transitions, and I studied online to become a Celebrant, which is someone who creates rituals and ceremonies for people who are non-religious,” said Sarfaty. “As we know, in our society, more people are marking themselves ‘spiritual’ and not religious, so when they have a wedding or a funeral or a baby naming ceremony, there may be several religions in the family, so they may want something more nondenominational. So, when we were studying funerals, the idea of Death Cafes came up, and I said I want to do that.”

Sraftay added, “When I grew up, death was not a topic we were allowed to talk about growing up. When I turned 60, which was not yesterday, all of a sudden, I realized that if we’re avoiding the topic of death, we’re avoiding the topic of life. Death, in my opinion, gives meaning to life, and it gives immediacy to it. For me, when I allowed my own mortality into my consciousness, it was very much a call for me to be present every day. For love, for appreciation, for gratitude, and to just be living in the present, and trying not to worry so much about the past and future.”

The Death Café is Saturday, May 13, from 10 a.m. to noon, in the Johnson Community Room at the Scranton Memorial Library, 801 Boston Post Road, Madison. Space is limited. For more information, contact Lisa at 203-627-3014 or lisa.sarfaty@gmail.com, or visit www.deathcafe.com.