Guilford VFW Offers Chance to Remember Those Lost to Pandemic
It was more than a year ago that the new, highly infectious and deadly COVID-19 virus first took a life in the Guilford community. Since then, more than 30 residents have died after contracting the disease with millions more around the world also losing their lives to the worst health crisis in a century.
As mass vaccinations have signaled what most health experts believe will be the beginning of the end for the pandemic, VFW Post 7666 in Guilford is inviting anyone who still needs to share or express their grief to a special ceremony Sunday, May 16 at Mill Pond, where floating lanterns will be released out onto the water as a means to honor those who were lost.
One of the cruelest, most uniquely heart-rending situations created by restrictions has been the inability of friends and family to be with their loved ones at the end. For fear of spreading the infection further, people were not allowed to enter hospitals or nursing homes as death approached. Even funerals and other grieving rituals have remained limited by travel and gathering restrictions, with some families unable to say goodbye even after someone passes.
“It just still hurts,” said VFW member Misty Streitweiser, who came up with the idea for the memorial. “Hopefully it does bring some closure or comfort to people who lost their loved ones.”
Open to anyone, not just Guilford residents, Streitwesier said the ceremony will be a simple one. People will be provided with paper lanterns on which they can write a message before lighting and sending them out onto Mill Pond. Post 7666 Chaplain Ron Whiteman will lead a prayer and say a few words, but how people want to grieve is up to them, Streitweiser said.
“Whether they stay or what, that will be up to them. There’s picnic tables on one side where people can sit,” she said. “It’s a nice, quiet setting.”
Working with First Selectman Matt Hoey to help publicize the event as well as getting permission to use the pond, Streitweiser said she realized how much a need there was for this kind of event.
“No funeral, no nothing, no last goodbyes—I don’t know how they did it,” she said.
Having a memorial here at the cusp of what could be a return to normalcy was an idea that didn’t come from any single event or interaction, according to Streitweiser. She said she knew that for many, any joy around the pandemic’s end is still tempered by what they have lost, and those they will never forget.
“Other people sure, their lives are going on because everything is opening,” Streitweiser said. “For the people who lost their loved ones, it’s still a difficult challenge.”
Coming to the lake, lighting a lantern, and saying a prayer is a way to personalize what has often been framed as a national tragedy or a global, historic crisis, which are broad terms and disconnected from feelings that don’t always encompass the sharpness of losing a mother, father, friend, or spouse, Streitwesier said.
She compared it to other big events that caused loss of life, where eventually the public moves past the immediate, stark grief while others are left to nurse their loss for the rest of their days.
But with the virus that need is even greater, because so many of the normal rituals have been disallowed, she added. A friend’s daughter who works in a hospital reported still having to sit with patients who were dying because their families were unable to be there, according to Streitweiser.
“They’re still crying and feeling that pain,” Streitweiser said.
There is no cost and no requirement to be a Guilford resident, Streitweiser emphasized, with about 100 lanterns available. The ceremony is scheduled to begin at 6 p.m. on May 16 on VFW Post 7666 grounds.
Editor's note: An earlier version of this story provided the incorrect day of the week for the event.