Put a Democrat and a Republican across from each other and steadily introduce controversial, emotionally charged subjects, both local and national, over the course of an hour or so, and what do you get?

While that concept might seem like the recipe for an ugly reality show or the hook for some Facebook clickbait, in Guilford on Feb. 3 it birthed a convivial, often light-hearted, and urgently sincere conversation between two colleagues, with none of the rancor and name-calling most people have come to expect.

In this case, the two participants were Guilford’s state representatives, Vinnie Candelora (R-86) and Sean Scanlon (D-99), who stepped across the aisle for a joint conversation to address some of the meanness and disconnect that has characterized a large measure of recent political discourse, seeking to demonstrate what trust and cooperation across party lines looks like as well as discuss long-term solutions.

“We did this because we thought that people were really yearning for this type of conversation,” Scanlon said. “What I do believe in my heart is that people do generally want to try to find common ground, and that they definitely want their politicians to do that.”

Moderated by Guilford Foundation Executive Director Liza Petra, the hour-long conversation hosted by the Guilford Free Library ranged widely from the broadest struggles in national political discourse to a specific Connecticut bill on vaccine exemptions.

The purpose, though, was not necessarily to offer specific solutions, but more as moderating and educational push toward a better process based on respect and centered on compromise. Rather than highlighting their disagreements or the disagreements of their parties, both Scanlon and Candelora attempted to show the 100 or so viewers that there was plenty of room to disagree and even oppose each other without seeing the other side as an enemy.

“I think what we’re seeing far too often is that election season extends out beyond the second Tuesday in November. So we end up seeing that disagreement spill over,” Candelora said. “Our two-party system is really set up to balance both parties and respect the rights of the minority party as well as the majority party.”

The conversation came about as Scanlon struggled with the aftermath of the Jan. 6 insurrection in Washington D.C., he said.

“I was probably more upset than I’ve ever been in politics about anything,” he said.

Though noting some individuals bear significantly more blame for the insurrection, Scanlon said that he was convinced that all Americans shared responsibility for that ugliness—and more important, now need to work on healing the “deterioration of our politics.”

Scanlon said he called Candelora to discuss a public conversation addressing the rhetoric and partisan divides, and knew he would have a willing partner despite their party memberships because of trust built up over time.

That trust is something that everyone— politicians and everyday citizens— must work toward on a daily basis, Scanlon said, and seeing it happen in Guilford is in some ways just as important as seeing it happen in Washington. Laying out some of their own disagreements, both representatives spoke of how nuance, trust, and compromise allow both citizens and legislators to get along, while warning against some of the pitfalls created by social media and “weaponized” anger or outrage.

“We try to train students and protect against bullying, and the legislature doesn’t have that kind of training necessarily,” Candelora said.

Though it was clear that there were disagreements on a number of the specific policies brought up, including voting reform and Governor Ned Lamont’s recent extension of executive power, both legislators steered the conversation back to where there was agreement, with Candelora specifically saying that focusing on policy can help stave off the “personalization” of a political disagreement.

“If I’m being personally attacked on social media and the issue is important, then I will try to redirect and frame what the issue is and speak to the issue,” he said.

Scanlon argued that as money and visibility increase on the national level, so did the tendency to “go nuclear” at every opportunity to increase political clout. That reality is in part responsible for how national politics are often the ugliest, he argued, but means that most local and state officials are looking for ways to help rather than sensationalize.

“We have to resist the urge to fire up that hot tweet that you know is going to get some likes, but we don’t know that the end result of that is good,” Scanlon said. “Politics doesn’t have to be a 24/7 American Gladiator slugfest.”

Both Candelora and Scanlon used Ethan’s Law, the 2019 broadly bipartisan gun safety bill, as an example that in even the most emotional policy issues there is room for compromise. That bill, which Scanlon said took both himself and Candelora out of their partisan lanes in some ways, was a political risk that each pursued out of a commitment to their constituents and trust in each other.

But both Candelora and Scanlon said they felt things have changed even in the short time since Ethan’s Law was passed. Scanlon described experiencing the shift that has divided people on what even constitutes truth or reality, calling it the “biggest threat” to the country, and has made these basic conversations even more important.

“If we cannot agree on the facts, how do we ever get to ‘Yes’ on a solution?” Scanlon said.

Both legislators admitted there was a long way to go, and that they didn’t necessarily have answers for the gaping chasm of divide that has increasingly made dialogue more bitter in politics. Candelora spent a good portion of time speaking about how some of the institutional policies in Connecticut—having part-time legislators, for instance—help tone down the kind of shot-taking and name-calling seen from higher profile politicians.

While many people associate some of these extreme issues with national politics and political figures, the red-hot level of disagreement and divisiveness is certainly not exclusive to the federal level. Petra read a handful of submitted questions by residents that expressed extreme frustration and resentment around even holding the forum itself.

One commenter called the event “insincere and self-serving” on Scanlon’s part, while another questioned why Candelora wasn’t taking more responsibility for harm caused by Republicans to truth through the use of “serial lying.”

Candelora responded that many of these criticisms were “well heard.”

“Sean and I probably could have done this forum two years, four years ago,” he said.

“To me, what is different today,” he added, “[is] behavior has changed, and not for the better. And so I think this is an opportunity to start a dialogue, and it is regardless of party affiliation. Each of us could point to members of our party and how they have misbehaved. But it doesn’t really accomplish much.”

Scanlon for his part re-emphasized that Jan. 6 really was a catalyst and evidence that things had gotten out of control in politics, and denied that the purpose of the forum was to benefit any party or himself as a politician.

“This is me being an American, and for me that means finding common ground even if I don’t agree,” he said.

Not seeing a party label as evidence of enmity enough to merit instant condemnation is one thing people can start working on right now, with Candelora saying politicians could begin setting that example.

“At times we’re viewed as caricatures instead of as human beings,” Candelora said. “Because I’m a Republican—while that’s my party label, I represent everyone in the 86th District regardless of their party affiliation or beliefs. I think it’s really important for us as legislators to always make that clear to people, because they need to be comfortable, whatever their ideology, to have a conversation with [us].”