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Family Gathers Strength from Community After Loss of Loved One

Social distancing, quarantining, and restrictions on gatherings—all safety protocols necessitated by the COVID-19 pandemic—have affected the ways in which individuals and families honor the life and grieve the loss of a loved one.

When some of the more traditional ways of gathering for a funeral are unavailable because of risk of infection from the COVID-19 virus, many have turned to unconventional, yet heartwarming, tributes with the help of the community.

For longtime Essex resident Eileen Parent, the community support that she received after the unexpected loss of her sister, Maureen “Mo” Manning, in early October, has been invaluable.

Not able to hold a traditional funeral service, her family purchased 500 yellow tulip bulbs from Riggio’s Garden Center in Essex to distribute to family and friends in Manning’s honor.

“Families have to be so creative during COVID,” said Parent. “There are very difficult choices you have to make to keep your family protected.”

The garden center helped distribute the bulbs in a safe way and created a private space in the corner of a greenhouse on the property that allowed individuals to come and retrieve the bulbs freely.

With the help of privacy trees, the space was shielded from public view and a concrete bench was available for those wanting to sit and reflect on Manning’s life.

Riggio’s Co-owner Bethany “Beth” Riggio, who attended Valley Regional High School with Manning’s younger sister, said, “Whenever we can help in that situation, when someone needed it…that’s what it’s about right now, helping people get through a situation.”

“Riggio’s has been so generous to do this for our family and for our community,” said Parent, who added that she received numerous responses from friends and family who went to pick up tulip bulbs.

“I have been getting all of these beautiful messages saying they will plant them,” said Parent. “I have received pictures of different places where they were planted with messages saying they will think of Maureen in the spring.

“It was such a beautiful, creative thing that ended up happening,” she added.

The act of planting a tulip bulb or doing another such activity in remembrance of a loved one, can help bring comfort to those mourning during the pandemic, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Sherry Russenberger, a hospice bereavement coordinator at Middlesex Health, formerly Middlesex Hospital, said that today, small acts are more important than ever.

“I think we have to find more meaning, especially now, in those things we would call those ‘little things’ and those are huge,” she said.

As examples, she said, “getting outside more, sitting and maybe meditating more, helping someone, dropping food off at someone’s house, paying it forward” are ways that individuals can help themselves and others during a difficult time.

“I do feel that having the support of family and especially being able to talk about your feelings, that is the biggest thing, having people to be there to listen to you,” she added.

Connecting with people by phone, virtually, or by social media; creating memories or rituals through a virtual memory book or webpage or taking part in an activity such as planting a tree or preparing a favorite meal; and asking for help from others are some actions recommended by the CDC on how to cope with feelings of grief after the loss of a loved one.

More information on bereavement group sessions at Middlesex Health is available by contacting Sherry Russenberger at sherry.russenberger@midhosp.org.