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02/11/2020 01:52 PMA local resident is angry and demanding an explanation after a large gravemarker was placed inches away from the gravestone of his father, Charles E. Shain, a Korean war veteran interred at Nut Plains Cemetery.
Casey Shain has called the placement “a desecration” of his father’s grave. The new marker that has sparked the controversy also happens to belong to the cemetery association chair: John Sullivan, who also owns JJ Sullivan Oil and Propane.
State law does not specifically dictate how or where graves can be placed in relation to each other, and does not set a limit for size of markers. Guilford has no ordinance governing these issues, according to First Selectman Matt Hoey, and there is nothing in the zoning codes or regulations setting out where graves can be placed.
Those specific details are set by whoever owns the cemetery, or sometimes the town, according to state law. Connecticut statute allows “[t]he selectmen of towns, cemetery associations, or ecclesiastical societies” to “enact bylaws providing for the care and management of all burial lots, and the protection of all shrubs, trees, fences, and monuments thereon.”
When asked if his family’s stone violated any bylaws, Sullivan said that a burial plot is simply a right to space.
“My sense of it, and this is what I tell people if and when I’m selling them graves...The plots are areas of 4 by 10 [feet]. If you want to think of this rectangular box that extends X feet down into the earth and X feet up into the sky, that’s what you’re buying,” Sullivan said. “We don’t have a lot of issues, so we haven’t found the necessity to have a ton of rules.”
The cemetery’s bylaws are set at an annual meeting of active members of the association, which usually numbers about a dozen people, Sullivan said.
Brad Leete, who oversees Leete’s Island Cemetery in Guilford, said this situation was not unusual, in his limited experience, especially for smaller cemeteries. He said it was sometimes difficult finding space for people, but that he rarely, if ever, referred back to any bylaws outside of the graveyard’s plot map.
Whether or not there were any rules or laws violated, Shain has said publicly that he feels the placement of the Sullivan marker is a gross disrespect to his father’s burial plot. Shain contacted a reporter for the Courier on Facebook to raise his concerns, but did not return subsequent requests for comment for this story.
According to Sullivan, he was approached by Shain about 18 months ago, a few months after the Sullivan stone was erected. Sullivan said he promised to move his family’s stone if it encroached on the burial plot of Shain’s father.
Ed Vroman, who handles the grave plot map at Nut Plains Cemetery through his business at Shelley Brothers Monuments, said that he was asked by Sullivan to ensure that there was no encroachment onto the Shain plot. Vroman confirmed that there was no violation.
Vroman told the Courier that these kinds of disputes were relatively common in his line of work, due to the deeply personal nature of gravesites and burials.
The specific placement of the Sullivan marker also raised questions. Sullivan confirmed that his family owns an entire section of grave plots—eight in total, according to a map provided to the Courier by Vroman. Placing the stone on one of his family’s other plots would not have so closely edged anyone else’s graves.
Sullivan said the location for the stone was chosen because of its relatively central location on the family’s plot.
“I would say I owned all of those, and I would have the right to put it in whichever one I wished,” Sullivan said.
But there was never an intention to cause distress to Shain or anyone else, according to Sullivan.
“I had no thoughts of, ‘Oh I’m going to screw with this guy by putting it in front of his” grave plot, Sullivan said.