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11/30/2016 08:30 AMNo matter what side of the line people were on, this was a stressful and antagonistic election season and many people are still reeling. In an effort to help alleviate this stress, Chester resident Pamela Lape MS, LP, LMHC of Integrated Perspectives Psychotherapy will host An Evening for Women: Living with Uncertainty in Times of Change and Division from 6 to 8 p.m. on Monday, Dec. 5 at the Chester Public Library. Lape’s goal is to provide a supportive environment in which attendees can express and begin to process their emotions, to reduce the effect of stress in daily life and on individuals’ health.
“I found in my practice, which is all women, that there is a tremendous amount of fear, anxiety, doubt, and unconscious terror appearing since the election,” said Lape. “People are concerned about what will happen to women’s and children’s rights, what the future might bring.
“Many children are also expressing anxieties after seeing such a volatile and contentious election, and so many things said, and so many aggressions on TV and during the debates,” said Lape.
Lape, who has led women’s groups for the past 35 years, believes that women can best help each other with these communal anxieties by reaching out to each other.
“The goal is to provide a safe place for any woman who needs a place to share her feelings with no judgment, where she can be validated, and feel heard,” said Lape.
Asked about the importance of reaching out instead of isolating oneself further, Lape said: “We have to share our feelings, get them out, be heard without judgment. Especially in times of fear, naturally speaking, we are tapping into human primal instincts. Either we stand together or ‘they’ are against ‘us.’ A lot of the rising anxiety is that unconscious primal fear coming out.”
In addition to airing anxieties, Lape hopes to provide attendees with some coping skills to combat feelings of fear and anxiety.
“It is important to be able to stop, take a breath, and realize that we can communicate with those who are different or think differently from us through understanding,” said Lape. “Not everything has to be contentious. Communication does not only have to be about whether we agree or disagree.
“When things get difficult or overwhelming, stop and breathe. Remember that it will be okay, that life will still go on,” continued Lape.
Other techniques that Lape will talk about further with attendees include meditation, mindfulness, being thankful, and practicing gratitude.
“Part of handling this kind of primal anxiety includes thinking about how we can work together toward cohesiveness and toward a healing process,” said Lape. “How can we learn to listen without rebuttal, come together as human beings, and find sameness and common ground between us?”
This advice extends through Lape’s tips for how to handle hard conversations that might arise during the upcoming holidays.
“The best way to communicate is to use ‘I’ statements: ‘I feel,’ ‘I think,’” said Lape. “That way the focus stays on you, without projecting onto the other person with statements such as, ‘You’re wrong,’ which can come off as an attack.
“Let other people speak without rebutting, condemning their position, or defending your own,” suggested Lape. “It is okay to disagree; it is still possible to be quiet and listen.”
Lape hopes that holding the event at the library will provide a public, open, but still cozy and welcoming space for everyone who may wish to participate. Using the library as a space in which to rebuild a sense of community is in line with the way Library Director Stephanie Romano hopes the community sees the library.
“The library was at one time a place to read quietly, but now it is a community center as well,” said Romano, “a place where diverse groups can use it comfortably without risk of discrimination.
“We hope the use sends a message that we are a welcoming place, for everyone,” continued Romano.
This event is free, and light refreshments will be served. Those wishing to attend or interested in more information should email pamelalape@aol.com to register their interests.