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05/10/2016 04:45 PMOn Sunday, May 15, Clinton Youth & Family Services Bureau (CYFSB), Clinton Public Schools, Partners in Community, and the PTA will sponsor a public viewing of the film The Mask You Live In, a documentary about boys’ social and emotional development with insights into raising a healthier generation of boys and young men.
The 90-minute film will be shown in The Morgan School auditorium, starting at 3 p.m. Admission is free, and all community members who regularly interact with boys—including parents, teachers, coaches, clergy, and youth leaders—are encouraged to attend.
“We started doing stuff on self-esteem, media, and body issues for girls last year,” said Marie Pinette, a licensed family therapist with CYFSB. “People were asking, ‘What about boys?’”
She and Andrea Kaye, program coordinator for the town of Clinton, started scouting out films specific to male youth.
“I saw this film at Connecticut College a few months ago, and it’s excellent,” said Pinette. “Our intention is to open up a community dialogue on the shoreline about this topic. We’ve identified 30 men in the Clinton community who are regularly involved in the lives of boys of all ages, and we’ve invited them to come to a prescreening and to be ambassadors to this initiative by helping us publicize the event. We’re encouraging as many dads and men to attend as possible.”
According to Pinette, boys frequently show signs of oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorder, or ADHD when they’re actually depressed.
“They tend to show depression in ways that are different from girls. They need to be able to talk about their feelings. They’re not supported as much in identifying, processing, and addressing their feelings, and it leaves them shortchanged. Culturally, there are differences in how we raise boys versus girls. We need to ask ourselves, ‘How can we be aware of those differences and empower boys to be successful?’”
Kaye added that one of the problems facing boys is that they’re often told to “man up.” The film, she said, looks at some of the implications of the language associated with maleness. It also examines masculinity in relation to drinking, bullying, crime, depression, video games, pornography, homophobia, campus sexual assault, and the stigmatization of male intimacy.
“The Mask You Live In,” Kaye said, “is a must-see.”
Citing statistics from the film about boys’ mental health issues, she said, “This is a really good time to get this dialogue out on the table.”
According to the film, compared to girls, boys are more likely to flunk or drop out of school. They are twice as likely to be in special education and four times more likely to be expelled. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for boys.
Pressured by the media, peer groups, and often the adults in their lives, boys are encouraged to disconnect from their emotions, devalue authentic friendships, objectify women, and resolve conflicts through violence. The film features not only boys and their stories, but also insights from neuroscientists, psychologists, sociologists, and experts in sports and education.
Writer/director Jennifer Siebel Newsom premiered her first film, Miss Representation, on the dearth of women in positions of power and influence in the United States. She soon realized that there were limiting stereotypes and gender equality issues for males as well.
“I began research and production on The Mask You Live In to explore what was really going on with masculinity in America and our boys…[and] it became clear to me that we need to change the national conversation around healthy masculinity,” Siebel Newsom wrote in her director’s notes.
The movie draws its title from the essay “Shooting an Elephant,” in which author George Orwell describes an anguished police officer who is pressured, against his better judgment, to kill an elephant. Describing the officer’s outward stoicism and inner guilt, Orwell writes, “He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it.”
“When I first saw this film at Conn College back in October,” said Pinette, “a lot of audience members were men. That really struck me. Ten years ago, most of the audience would have been women. Most of the parents I would see in practice would have been moms. It’s encouraging to see more dads involved. It really helps in treatment.”
Pinette said she would love to see every boy’s parent or guardian at the screening.
“This film is very powerful, and the best discussion that’s going to emerge from this is if we have a lot of strong male role models there. We want dads, teachers, and coaches to participate, even if the boys they are teaching and raising are very young. Having a heads-up on the issues that they’re going to grow into is valuable,” she said. “This will hopefully help build healthy friendships and problem-solving skills.”
While the movie is intended to start the conversation about issues facing boys and young men, a follow-up discussion will be held on Wednesday, May 25, from 6:30 to 8 p.m. at the Board of Education building. Tyler Webb, assistant principal at The Morgan School, and Jack Cross, Clinton’s superintendent of schools, will moderate.
“This is for those who want to participate in further discussion and help establish a community action plan related to boys’ social emotional development and self-esteem,” said Pinette. “Even if you don’t agree with everything, everybody is vested. This will be a meaningful community dialog where people can share their reflections on and reactions to the film.”
The film screening is open to adults only; childcare is available on request. To reserve a spot or request childcare, call 860-669.1103 or email akaye@clintonct.org.