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Nibbles: The Worst Table in the Restaurant

As a restaurant reviewer and food writer for several decades, I’ve always felt that a great hamburger in a dive bar could be as good as beef Wellington in a five-star restaurant. But a terrible table can almost always ruin a perfect meal. I will not name the place because I love this restaurant, but my friends and I recently were seated 12 inches away from the swinging door to the kitchen, six inches from the waitstaff’s cutlery drawer, and two feet next to two young guys putting together pizza boxes. Worst of all, it was right next to the men’s room. I got to watch one man leave the men’s room as he tossed his paper towel into the wastebasket next to the cutlery hutch. And he missed! I understand that restaurateurs need to get, as they say, “butts in the chairs.” But our experience should never happen. It was 6 p.m. on a Sunday evening and we made a reservation. We were three people. I asked if we could go to a four-top and our waitress said they had to save it if there were a five-person group (never mind that it was a four-top). When we left, about an hour later, no one had claimed that table.